White background, you know what that’s for!

Today’s Hangover:

The Minorities Win Again

Oh, no. I just remembered that Justin Trudeau is being sworn in as Prime Minster on the 20th. There’s a lot to discuss about that, including the slight possibility that my fellow voters are scared little kittens who are afraid of external stimuli and so voted between a turd sandwich and a giant douche despite the existence of third-parties that ― and you will be amazed at what I’m saying here ― have actual seats in Parliament! I gave a reasoned reaction to the election results previously, but we as a country are facing the aftershocks, and my pussy is personally shooketh.

The 20th is a cursed day for me because that’s when Froghand was founded and is one of the tenner-days where I would post things on Kratzen that weren’t reviews, before having a nervous fucking breakdown and embarrassing myself in front of The Internet. Remember Kratzen? Damn, that was legit. Everything I do is legit, except for the old stuff, which is crap, including Kratzen, which was horrible.

S’anyway, one of the upsides to this atrocious election where two-thirds of the country voted for who gets to ruin things for 100% of everyone ― since this is how democracy works I guess ― is how it resulted in a minority government rather than a majority. The government isn’t run by minorities, which is what the NDP wanted, but it’s organised such that no one party can force through legislation arbitrarily and without oversight, because that is also how democracy works. This results in a system where nothing ever changes, as opposed to changing for the worse. This has far-reaching implications for the future of our country, which we’ll all forget about until five years from now when the Liberals fuck everything up and the Conservatives get back into office.

I will say that Project Gutenberg Canada was throwing a shindig over the election results, because this state of stagnation will mean the terrible, terrible USMCA agreement will never get passed. What’s bad about it? Nobody in their right mind would read all eleven squintillion pages to find out what the hell our country is being held hostage to at the hands of an orange fascist, which is why members of parliament tend to go crazy over time as the words and words of absolute utter nonsense invade their brains and make them ratify these blatnatly asymmetrical agreements.

The pressing issue that Project Gutenberg is celebrating the death of is the, ugh, “Intellectual Property” “Protections”, despite them not being intellectual, or property, or protective of anything other than government monopolies handed out like candy thus causing the wheels of the free market to crash into ten thousand caribou. USMCA, yes it’s really named that, would extend the copyright term of Canada to life plus 70 years, because all those starving authors will have their publishing cheques addressed to their gravestones five minutes after death, let alone seventy cunting years.

It’s not worth speculating the type of dank opium those 19th century Berne Convention dudes were smoking when they decided that fifty cunting years after someone’s death is a perfectly reasonable term for copyright terms. It just happened, because the human race is fucking doomed. We can’t even prevent our own extinction, let alone discuss something as banal as fucking copyright without losing our goddamn minds, going apeshit over the countertops, and throwing fat diarrhea dumps on freedom of speech and expression of culture for the next 130 years. I die when I’m 80 years old, it will be over one hundred years from now before these words become uncopyrightable in my home country.

I want to believe that even people who don’t want copyright law abolished will agree the length of these terms are absolutely insane and have no business belonging in a world where our downloading technology makes any notion of copyright law totally obsolete. There is no reason why entitled artists should have the option to allow their estate to troll for copyright suits for five decades after that artist’s death. And while fifty years after life is still absolutely, maddeningly, fucking, fucking, fucking insane, it’s even worse to add on twenty years after that, because all the artistic works that are finally entering the public domain after literal centuries will be suppressed and censored for yet another twenty years.

It’s easy to get mad about this. And it’s easy to celebrate the inevitable USMCA clusterfuck that’s going to occur when the unholy trilogy of four that is the Liberals, Conservatives, Bloc, and NDP (the Greens don’t matter) all have to negotiate what they want out of the bill in such a way as to please every member in every single party, meaning this legislation will likely never pass the House of Commons. But it is as I say. Our society is technologically advanced to the point where we can copy any materials at any time arbitrarily and manipulate our copies of those materials through any means we have given the time and imagination. Copyright is absolutely irrelevant to the vast, vast majority of human beings alive. It is impossible to legislate protocols, impossible to legislate mathematics, and we live in an age where digital law is easily ignored by anyone with an Internet connection and a whole shitload of hard drive.

Anyway, shit election, shit parliament, shit trade agreement, shit copyright law, and shit out of luck for anyone who tries to put their hands on the technological superiority of the Internet and all the means available to browse it in total privacy. At least we have Creative Commons. And at least we have me, who is more important that Creative Commons, so respect my authority!

Today’s NEW Article:

Hearthstone Sucks and Blizzard are Cunts

A polite and reasoned discussion on Blizzard being malicious twats.

Monthly Hangovers:

November Hangovers

It’s like bootleg winter but with less cheer and more crotchety old veterans.

October Hangovers

Ignore the previous comment. I’m not done, after all. Not yet!

September Hangovers

I am back, I am SO back, and I already feel done with it.

July Hangovers

It’s the seventh lucky month, and it’s hot, hot, hot! Just like yours truly, of course.

May Hangovers

Feeling a little too alive? Let the tide of Spring whisk you away into your grave.

All my other crap:

Linux: It That Betrays

Something broke on my machine, so that means EVERYONE hates Linux now.

I’m Racist Now

I’m sorry to all my fans, but I have to come clean: I’m bisexual — I mean I’m racist.

Halloweeny Musings

Featuring the inexorable passage of time. And dread.

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off Review: One Star

This is a rather silly movie that I didn’t like very much.

Kotaku Sucks my Fat Froge Nuts

They actually have cloacas — oh, never mind. Watch me fuck this low-hanging fruit.

Pixar Censors Boobies and that’s Terrible

Once upon a time, there was a plastic doll with large breasts…

Putting to Rest an Uneasy Season

I don’t know what I’m doing here, but I might as well keep on doing it.

And Here I Am Again

It turns out I didn’t write that novel after all.

And Off I Go Again

I’m writing another novel. This means I’m not writing here. Oh, the tragedy!

Short Talks on Bad Fandoms

Extensive analysis has determined that, yep, this is cringe, bro.

Shaming the HTTP Zealots

You would think people who publish on the Internet would know how the Internet works.

Defending Kiwi Farms and Christchurch

That’s it! I’m done with the façade! I’m joining the alt-right, RIGHT NOW!

How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World Review: Two Stars

That’s a rather long title for a rather short and unremarkable kid’s movie. Which I watched. Somehow.

I Have Come Back to Beg

I didn’t end up writing that novel. I’m now writing another one. Yes, I’m serious.

See You Later, Idiots

I’m leaving for June. See you in a month!

Froge Finds the Jay Z Song

Jay Z makes music. He no longer has to as I found his one and only song.

Fantastic Planet Review: Three Stars

The only cartoon to feature dozens of naked ladies while still staying classy.

Alien Review: Four Stars

Time to review one of the most beloved science fiction films ever made.

Reddit is a Scourge and must be Purged

Froge goes onto the Reddit front page and gets angry at things! He then throws up and cries.

What Does Froge Say?

My half-assed “about” page where I explain what has already been explained about my cult.